today is my birthday
18th april...born in the month of fools...:-)
So it starts with the typical twelve o clock calls, but it was somethin about the callers this year..some of them were actually unexpected, people who i knew would wish me but didnt think they'd be on the dot about it, they made me happy, so thanx rida and fareeha. But the one that melted my heart was a call from my beloved mother, I love you so much ma. And i missed you with all my heart on this birthday, I had sis and some close freinds present at the time the clock struck midnight, but ma, you sang the whole birthday song for me all the way from that apartment in karachi...I loved it and I love you. If it wasnt for my strong will, i wouldve definatly weeped a bit.
Riz,Ali,Randy and my sis were there at home at 12, somehow it seemed they werent there, it seemed i was just going through a premonition of something that was happening as it did. Thats when it started...the feeling started to fade and then disappear, then appear again, then vanish once again without a warning. Dont know what it was, but i wasnt feeling too keen about it. I thought mabye if i sleep i'll feel better in the morning. so morning came, got up, got dressed and head off to work............yeh, it took a while there but finally somethin once again lifted my spirit, a laptop...a company laptop given to me to work on till i'm employed there...my own laptop. It felt good. Like a little boy un-wrapping a candy bar, i quickly initiated the new machine and got to spread my fingers across the board like i was about to play a grand piano.
On driving my was back home from work, I started thinking to myself. I hate to think at times..even if i dont want to i come across a bad surpressed memory which kinda rips me inside, or was the memory an excuse for the lonely drive back home. Again, i tried to sleep it off once i got home but a good friend (riz) called and said hey bro...Im really really busy runnin around like nuts so i'll take you out for an early dinner. I couldve thought that by him treating me so early for dinner is like "getting it over and done with"....but no...i didnt wanna think that, it was just that riz really was busy and he was trying to make time for his freind..Thank you bro...it meant alot. Sis came for dinner too....kinda became a naggy lil girl at the restaurant but hey, thats what sisters are there for so its all good, she did spoil me by giving me chocolates (big hug for ya). Ali didnt show up, that was going to make me feel bad knowing that we both consider oursleves really close..mabye its just a perception now, mabye were just being close freinds to maintain the respect. whatever it was, somewhere deep down i expected him to show up, likewise the better half of my instincts took over and i had a ball of a time with riz and sis.
it was almost 10pm, Randy, my guitarist called saying he's below the house, my house...said he wanted to jam before the birthday jam tommorow...(shit)...forgot to mention that i decided to throw somewhat of a party for some freinds at my place tommorow..(this is why i hate to think at times, confuses my thought with my instincts), anyhow, Me and Randy got together and jammed a good 1/2 hour set and called it a nite by heading down to the shisha joint....thats where ali showed up, i put my judgements behind me and had a decent session at the cafe. Finally....reached home after just another day...another birthday...mine. Me and ali got talkin and the guy decided to pour out his work issues and some personal stuff....i listened and consoled him. why, cuz i felt thats what a freind should do...no, i'd be lying if i say thats the truth, but thats another story. Overall, the day has ended..ive been wished by freinds on orkut and facebook and non-stop msgs on my cell and even a few international calls...wow..I smile as i write this that i guess i did make some pretty good freinds.
I guess my lesson on this birthday was that no matter who is close and who is far, who is good and who is bad...freinds come in all forms and shapes..we just need to know and diffrentiate one from the other...try not to hate them, hate is like a curved knife as i read in a book, it'll only come back and cut you too.
To my freinds, Ive been a complete asshole at times, specially over the past few months. Im sorry for that. mabye some of you know my reasons and mabye some dont...for those who dont im sorry, sorry for not giving you the benefit of knowing who faraz khan really is and what he does for a living.
Till my next birthday...peace
(ps. Mom, I miss you so much. I hope youre happy where you are and I hope we're together soon.Love.)
So it starts with the typical twelve o clock calls, but it was somethin about the callers this year..some of them were actually unexpected, people who i knew would wish me but didnt think they'd be on the dot about it, they made me happy, so thanx rida and fareeha. But the one that melted my heart was a call from my beloved mother, I love you so much ma. And i missed you with all my heart on this birthday, I had sis and some close freinds present at the time the clock struck midnight, but ma, you sang the whole birthday song for me all the way from that apartment in karachi...I loved it and I love you. If it wasnt for my strong will, i wouldve definatly weeped a bit.
Riz,Ali,Randy and my sis were there at home at 12, somehow it seemed they werent there, it seemed i was just going through a premonition of something that was happening as it did. Thats when it started...the feeling started to fade and then disappear, then appear again, then vanish once again without a warning. Dont know what it was, but i wasnt feeling too keen about it. I thought mabye if i sleep i'll feel better in the morning. so morning came, got up, got dressed and head off to work............yeh, it took a while there but finally somethin once again lifted my spirit, a laptop...a company laptop given to me to work on till i'm employed there...my own laptop. It felt good. Like a little boy un-wrapping a candy bar, i quickly initiated the new machine and got to spread my fingers across the board like i was about to play a grand piano.
On driving my was back home from work, I started thinking to myself. I hate to think at times..even if i dont want to i come across a bad surpressed memory which kinda rips me inside, or was the memory an excuse for the lonely drive back home. Again, i tried to sleep it off once i got home but a good friend (riz) called and said hey bro...Im really really busy runnin around like nuts so i'll take you out for an early dinner. I couldve thought that by him treating me so early for dinner is like "getting it over and done with"....but no...i didnt wanna think that, it was just that riz really was busy and he was trying to make time for his freind..Thank you bro...it meant alot. Sis came for dinner too....kinda became a naggy lil girl at the restaurant but hey, thats what sisters are there for so its all good, she did spoil me by giving me chocolates (big hug for ya). Ali didnt show up, that was going to make me feel bad knowing that we both consider oursleves really close..mabye its just a perception now, mabye were just being close freinds to maintain the respect. whatever it was, somewhere deep down i expected him to show up, likewise the better half of my instincts took over and i had a ball of a time with riz and sis.
it was almost 10pm, Randy, my guitarist called saying he's below the house, my house...said he wanted to jam before the birthday jam tommorow...(shit)...forgot to mention that i decided to throw somewhat of a party for some freinds at my place tommorow..(this is why i hate to think at times, confuses my thought with my instincts), anyhow, Me and Randy got together and jammed a good 1/2 hour set and called it a nite by heading down to the shisha joint....thats where ali showed up, i put my judgements behind me and had a decent session at the cafe. Finally....reached home after just another day...another birthday...mine. Me and ali got talkin and the guy decided to pour out his work issues and some personal stuff....i listened and consoled him. why, cuz i felt thats what a freind should do...no, i'd be lying if i say thats the truth, but thats another story. Overall, the day has ended..ive been wished by freinds on orkut and facebook and non-stop msgs on my cell and even a few international calls...wow..I smile as i write this that i guess i did make some pretty good freinds.
I guess my lesson on this birthday was that no matter who is close and who is far, who is good and who is bad...freinds come in all forms and shapes..we just need to know and diffrentiate one from the other...try not to hate them, hate is like a curved knife as i read in a book, it'll only come back and cut you too.
To my freinds, Ive been a complete asshole at times, specially over the past few months. Im sorry for that. mabye some of you know my reasons and mabye some dont...for those who dont im sorry, sorry for not giving you the benefit of knowing who faraz khan really is and what he does for a living.
Till my next birthday...peace
(ps. Mom, I miss you so much. I hope youre happy where you are and I hope we're together soon.Love.)
posted by Korogaz at 11:49 AM
1 Comments:
happy belated birthday.
took me completely by surprise...but i didnt know.
:)
wish id been one of the ones to wish you on the actual day.
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