Carpe Diem

My fourth week starts tommorow. New people, new environment, new clothes....Just like my first day back in college. This is where I work, this is my new job. After 3 years of blood and sweat in an organization which till date fails to discover professionalism, fails to utilize talents and doesnt bother with motivation. I 'resigned' from the tv network I was working for and joined a better organization. Whats my job?, Im a corporate executive, sounds important eh? well it is. Its gives me a chance to further think outta the box. I havent been this happy in years. Thank you so much. It feels great to do work with a multicultural group of people who not only appreciate your work but further motivate you at each step. What is the new company all about? well, we have 8 radio stations, 3 newspapers, 4 tv channels, an advertising and printing division + logistics. Yeh, its another media organization, nothing like my old company though. like I mentioned. Im happy & satisfied here, and thats what counts. I guess life really is going to be different this year. I dont know if I'll ever see some great freinds ive made over the past few months and years, I dont know if they'll remember who i am....but one thing is pretty sure, this isnt the end of me.

urs truly,
Peace.

Faraz Khan

The 7 day theory...

Finally

its a thursday nite, a week has passed by since after my birthday jam......whoaaaa...what a birthday. It was the best birthday i had in years. Not that the past few years were fun but c'mon guys...youre all bad with surprise parties, that to year after year...I kinda figured out the system ;-). So basically this time i took the authority and responsibility to make sure everyone has a great time..so this was it:

7 : gates open
7:30: begins the jam
8: jam ends
8:15: food is served
9: people with prior commitments leave and the rest stay for chilin...BUT!

knowing how my crazy freinds are, not to mention the famous "pakistani standard time" dialogue in dubai..people started showing up at 8:15...so thats when everythin was on a delay..:-)
still happy though, everyone showed up and we (myself and randy) started the birthday jam that i had promised to all guests...i can never forget the night, i re decorated my hall with lights and backdrops to give guests the perfect chill zone feel not to mention the 'unplugged' ambiance. people were piled up on the sofas, chairs, tables even the floor (thank god i put mattresses there) we sang away to glory, we covered U2,goo goo dolls, Mr.Big, def leppard and even played some originals which were popular amongst close freinds. they all loved it, i remember my freinds sayin its one of the best birthdays theyve been to simply cuz of the music and the setup and the finger food. Do i have snaps you ask? you'd love to see em? facebook them baby ;-). Some of my musician freinds who attended also came up and performed, kinda like an open mic night....in my house!! WOW, i always wanted to have a gig here and here it was, right beyond my very eyes. Some of the guests who i expected to leave cuz of their partying lifestyle stayed back till almost 4AM!!! it meant alot everyone...it did indeed. I missed my karachi freinds, wish they were here to share the joy n celebrate. but theres always another occasion :-).

so why the 7 day theory, cuz its been a week since the party and i'm still feeling like heaven :-)

Thank you for everythin, for life, for family, for freinds and for the little moments of happiness that last forever.

Peace.

today is my birthday

18th april...born in the month of fools...:-)

So it starts with the typical twelve o clock calls, but it was somethin about the callers this year..some of them were actually unexpected, people who i knew would wish me but didnt think they'd be on the dot about it, they made me happy, so thanx rida and fareeha. But the one that melted my heart was a call from my beloved mother, I love you so much ma. And i missed you with all my heart on this birthday, I had sis and some close freinds present at the time the clock struck midnight, but ma, you sang the whole birthday song for me all the way from that apartment in karachi...I loved it and I love you. If it wasnt for my strong will, i wouldve definatly weeped a bit.
Riz,Ali,Randy and my sis were there at home at 12, somehow it seemed they werent there, it seemed i was just going through a premonition of something that was happening as it did. Thats when it started...the feeling started to fade and then disappear, then appear again, then vanish once again without a warning. Dont know what it was, but i wasnt feeling too keen about it. I thought mabye if i sleep i'll feel better in the morning. so morning came, got up, got dressed and head off to work............yeh, it took a while there but finally somethin once again lifted my spirit, a laptop...a company laptop given to me to work on till i'm employed there...my own laptop. It felt good. Like a little boy un-wrapping a candy bar, i quickly initiated the new machine and got to spread my fingers across the board like i was about to play a grand piano.
On driving my was back home from work, I started thinking to myself. I hate to think at times..even if i dont want to i come across a bad surpressed memory which kinda rips me inside, or was the memory an excuse for the lonely drive back home. Again, i tried to sleep it off once i got home but a good friend (riz) called and said hey bro...Im really really busy runnin around like nuts so i'll take you out for an early dinner. I couldve thought that by him treating me so early for dinner is like "getting it over and done with"....but no...i didnt wanna think that, it was just that riz really was busy and he was trying to make time for his freind..Thank you bro...it meant alot. Sis came for dinner too....kinda became a naggy lil girl at the restaurant but hey, thats what sisters are there for so its all good, she did spoil me by giving me chocolates (big hug for ya). Ali didnt show up, that was going to make me feel bad knowing that we both consider oursleves really close..mabye its just a perception now, mabye were just being close freinds to maintain the respect. whatever it was, somewhere deep down i expected him to show up, likewise the better half of my instincts took over and i had a ball of a time with riz and sis.
it was almost 10pm, Randy, my guitarist called saying he's below the house, my house...said he wanted to jam before the birthday jam tommorow...(shit)...forgot to mention that i decided to throw somewhat of a party for some freinds at my place tommorow..(this is why i hate to think at times, confuses my thought with my instincts), anyhow, Me and Randy got together and jammed a good 1/2 hour set and called it a nite by heading down to the shisha joint....thats where ali showed up, i put my judgements behind me and had a decent session at the cafe. Finally....reached home after just another day...another birthday...mine. Me and ali got talkin and the guy decided to pour out his work issues and some personal stuff....i listened and consoled him. why, cuz i felt thats what a freind should do...no, i'd be lying if i say thats the truth, but thats another story. Overall, the day has ended..ive been wished by freinds on orkut and facebook and non-stop msgs on my cell and even a few international calls...wow..I smile as i write this that i guess i did make some pretty good freinds.
I guess my lesson on this birthday was that no matter who is close and who is far, who is good and who is bad...freinds come in all forms and shapes..we just need to know and diffrentiate one from the other...try not to hate them, hate is like a curved knife as i read in a book, it'll only come back and cut you too.
To my freinds, Ive been a complete asshole at times, specially over the past few months. Im sorry for that. mabye some of you know my reasons and mabye some dont...for those who dont im sorry, sorry for not giving you the benefit of knowing who faraz khan really is and what he does for a living.

Till my next birthday...peace
(ps. Mom, I miss you so much. I hope youre happy where you are and I hope we're together soon.Love.)

Its amazing

Its amazing how people think they know you, specially when 'people' consist of family. What I do, what I should do and what they want me to do sure has a thin line goin between it all. How can a family come up with a decision or conclusion without considering what each member has to think or say. How? I mean it puts me in a inner rage to know that something is being cooked up without my knowledge specially when the 'plan' consists me playin a major part. I mean, its not like i dont wanna help, but Ive got my own demons to defeat.
I feel pretty fucked up when I face them sayin that dont expect anythin cuz the truth is that Im phisically and mentally there only if Im given a chance to think aloud. But when things just come to me and I feel that with my thoughts and ideas it couldve been better, its sad to know I was cut out of the mere thought. sucks.
I want a good lifestyle too, but sometimes you gotta be smart than just havin a big house and a fast car to live with. You can do much better if you just think a bit more wisely. But no, thats not whats happenin is it. Its my birthday next week and Im feeling like this...man it sure sux. Anyway, not gonna let this get in my way...Im gonna do what I do best and do it even better and leave the rest to some luck too.

Hoping for the best to happen, expecting the worst.

Peace.

The Desert Rock Festival 2007

Firstly, this is who came :

Day 1 -

1. Iron Maiden
2. The Prodigy
3. Stone Sour
4. In Flames
5. Mastadon
6. Lauren Harris
7. Junkyard Groove

Day 2-

1. Robert Plant & The Strange Sensation
2. Incubus
3. Prime Circle
4. The Bravery
5. Junkyard Groove

And who conquered...me & my mates.

Definately one of the most awaited gigs of the year, this was the first time Desert Rock Fest was a 2 day event. Who the hell wasnt excited. To experiance somethin like this is exactly what young musicians and critics, fans and 'regular people' should do to gain more knowledge about the metal culture or rock culture of todays day and age.

No its not about the noise, the overflow of black tees, the gothic make up or even the heavey chanting......its all about the lifestyle. Theres no boundaries, theres no racism, there isnt even a peck of traditional differences. Everyones there to share one passion, music.

To watch legends like Bruce Dickenson and Robert Plant was like a dream come true. Never in my life did I imagine I'd be seeing Maiden live or even the sole surviving performer of Led Zepplin. Robert Plant is one of the reasons I got into singing. This is the kinda stuff dreams are made of. Newbies liks Prime Circle, Junkyard groove, In Flames were amazing to listen to, its amazing how many bands are out there unheard of but are still selling records like cakes. The one that took everyone by surprise was Prodigy. Everyone was like "WHAT!! and electro group in a rock fest!!....but Im proud to say that they did justice. A lil jumping and tubthumping was exactly what everyone needed after hours of head banging. Rock on Prodigy.

Above all, I made a great freind who flew down from California, Mark LeVine. An author and teacher for political and cultural & religious sciences. He's writing a book titled "HEAVEY METAL ISLAM", which is due at the end of the year, infact you can google his name and find out more about him. I was glad to be a part of his project and even got him on my tv show 'Rock On'. Look out for that in the end of March or early April.

Lastly, I wanna thank my freinds and bandmates who shared the passion with me at the fest. even though we were spectators, we rocked together. Love you guys.

Peace.

sitting naked burning thoughts in my head...

sometimes you want to forget, sometimes you need to
if you dont, they dwell within your mind only discouraging you
to attain happiness, to attain freedom, basically they lock you up.
you have to be careful which to remember and which to overlook
if you end up saving the wrong ones, you'll find that life can sometimes really be a bitch.
but hey, thats not what you want to end up thinking all your life
you could end up being a loner or simply leap of a building without a parachute
yeh, i know some who've done that so its easy to imagine
we have to alter our imagination sometimes to selfish mode just to feel content
whats wrong with it? nothing, absolutely not. whats wrong with being a lil self-cautious?

Im talking about memories, dont hang on to the sad,angry, whiny ones. learn from them and let go.
Keep the happy ones to remember when in times of distress. they make you smile once in a while.

peace.

Blogword of the day : void

You know that feeling when everything seems to be goin right and then suddenly you instincts go like "waitaminute, things cant be perfect for this guy", yeh thats the feeling,ever been through one. Nah, I aint gonna whine about life or anything, just that its pretty ironic how convieniantly people get frustrated at their own account but never seem to realize it. As youngsters we thing that if our relationships dont work out we're gonna be miserable for the rest of our lives, then we get into another one and think 'hey this could be the one', but what makes us so damn sure. Is it holding hands at the movies, late night diners, early morning wake up calls...what?!?!
The funny part is that some people actually run away from what they cant face and think that 'time will heal it all' and they'll get over it. Well yeh in some cases time does heal in others you just have to face the facts and live a little. What do i mean by that? well live a little, do things youve missed out on, things you've always wanted to do, spend time with people whom you havent been with, cook, eat, jump, run.....simple stuff. Ive got two dudes here who're like my childhood pals, one just finished a 10 year relationship with his school-time girl and the other is about to finish his relationship for about an year. They both seem equally devasted about it, why?? how can one compare 10 years to 1 year, because the end result is the same. They both didnt know how to handle their relationship, they couldnt recognize the signs when they had the chance. Sometimes the simplest of issues could be the problem, in the case of us traditional people...the DESI human, its usually our parents, simply because they believe they know whats best for us, and you cant blame them, they brought us up, we have to credit them for knowing some part of us. I remember when I was in a relationship, everyone I knew was against it, it still lasted 3 years, probably the best break up a guy can go through, ofcourse I was messed up but the beautiful part was that I learnt alot....I probably learnt more from this girl than most girls out there, why? because she was practical, she took risks, she had the guts to face life in the face. Not find an alternative, not run away, not ignore whats ahead of us....thats what I learnt. I mean lets face it, we've all been through heart breaks and sleepless nights....its not gonna prove anything, it'll just keep you in Void. You wanna prove something, get compatible, literally understand, compromise very little, trust what you can feel & under no circumstance use the phrase 'I love you' every second of your relationship, it looses its meaning if overused. Be casual, dont get too personal, dont ever freakin' assume, youre probably wrong about it, believe me, Ive been assumed about a GAZILLION times, god knows what the girl would end up thinking. Anyway, just something that crossed my mind today so I thought i'd leave my thoughts here. No offense to anyone...btw, I know you guys are reading this so go ahead and leave your thoughts on it too.

Peace.